"I'm as normal as a set of tires"

"man, I'm breaking out like a sheepdog"
"what the hell are you talking about?"


"I'm totally in the mood for derivatives"--Kid in my calc class

"what's you're favorite differentiation rule? mine is the power rule"--Calc kid
"I don't think I really have one"
"ok, yeah,... then what's your favorite chemical compound?"



"you really don't look like a hunter... I mean... where's your funny hat and flannel plaid shirt?"--english professor
"well he's not hunting right now"


"Yeah, I'm not going to give you the formulas for that"--bio professor
"thank you, jesus"--the old lady in class


(to the old lady in class)"you are a female and thus you make eggs"--bio professor
"well, I used to"--old lady



(about the human body exhibit) "some of you soc majors might be freaked out by this"--bio professor