Imagine being
in Yanni’s symphony orchestra
they use sticks as
sheep crooks

he took the cookies
Satan took them away
I want to be
that third kind of person

Come on cellos… get *rough*
If oboes get
the second highest pay
The violas pay the conductor

75 cents for ice cream?
I can give you more
than a scoop

I opened a fresh one
just for you
That must be why it's warm

I licked it clean
you don't have to wash it now
I was just trying
to save her some time

is that sterile?
I don't know... OPEN CUT!
I think they heard
our Chumbawamba plan

Ok, new plan ...
we talk about the old plan
until they run out of quarters

Dale and Pam... sittin’ in a tree
Too bad she wasn't
in an aerosol can
and made of grease

oh my face... my FACE!
My horribly disfigured face
are you going to be a reckless driver?
I hope so
Get your junk out of my drawer
I almost said
Get your junk out of my drawers

act like idiots in your own class
oh don't worry
we will

We're gettin' down...
communist style
The mockingbird
didn't even die though

Why don't you get a new one
for 99 cents?
Why don't you shut up
for free?

Mike has that effect on insects
Stay out of this…
press play


you have something on your face
There is messy you are
is that a ham
it looks like a ham with a cape

none of you did anything historical...
except for those kids who got kicked out
of the National Historical Society

This class... is at the very bottom
Think of yourselves as the foundation
....or the pit
either way it’s bad

Living together
you'll all be covered in chalk
with salt in your eyes
there'd be fruit flies everywhere

if you have a page and a half written
don't give me six lines
of mindless dribble

Mr. Faust should start a cult
and we can all join it
The leader insulted me
He likes me better

They only make out
For nine measures?
It’s pronounced “fwee”
Like “I am ‘fwee’”

Owen’s just like me
A loser

Who do you like better?
Kurt or Kurt’s mom?
Kurt’s mom

Satan or your mom?
Trick question,
They’re the same person

Diana, You’re so skinny it’s sickening
I’m going to do my
Chem. Project on you

A kid brought in a potato
Three months
It had an air force
Kids would poke at the potato

Touch the potato,
It is your leader
Stealth fliers

And you say we’re worse?
Oh by far
You need a brausbad

I cannot continue
To knit your scarf
I am limited
Grandma, you’re so stupid

It’s a worm
Why does it make
Monkey sounds

I only learn stuff
If it’s in cookie format
I was absent ten times
There were ten tests?

I should have gotten a 4.0
Yeah,
And I’m a size 6

Was it you who saved my life?
If I was
Then I want it back

I have mad cow disease
Alcohol.......ism
Means can’t go to work;
Too drunk

Eww, Dan in a muscle shirt
AAA the crucifix!
It burns my hand

Who doesn’t like Howard?
Everyone loves Howard
He called me a fat cow
And I still love him

I have to give the bowls
Back to the cafeteria
The cafeteria?
No wonder I feel sick

If we were in France
We’d be in second grade
If we were in Japan
It’d be ten at night

Tell the chemical reactions
Of a product
I’ll do oxygen
Crack, I’ll do crack

Why would you want
To create a giant hole?
So people would fall in it

I asked Mr. Faust
Why we were out here
He told me we were having
An egg hunt

Ready for some Easter fun, kids?

Why are we here?
It’s where you belong
why is the faculty moving towards safety?
BACK! BACK!

I say we light our backpacks on fire
And dance around them
And chant

They taunt us with busses
There’s no evidence
If the list is in my head

Instead of Avogadro’s number
I used Gorman’s number
...eight

you put your junk
in Mr. Faust’s drawers?
No, the cleaning lady
Takes it out

What? The cleaning lady
Took your junk out
Of Mr. Faust’s drawers?
Opened her cabinet
And put your junk in?

Up your nose
With a rubber hose,
Mr. Faust

My big fat polish wedding
I wonder if it has to be
Heterosexual
Send in our pictures

Mr. Faust, there’s stuff on your pants
I don’t want to wipe it off
Psychiatric counseling?
I can’t touch Mr. Faust’s drawers

Raph has a gun
He could have said something
Much better...
Like FIRE or FIGHT

This is what makes me get up
And take a little walk
When people start shouting
“DO IT PUNCH HER!”

We are now driving through historic Plymouth
If you’ll look with me to your left
You’ll see...
A bar
And to you’re right...
A bar

I have a visual on Mr. Faust
Look at me
I’m nearly naked

Zach and I
Are having a rave
I’ll be the trumpet
...yes

I always thought it was
Julia Caesar
The crust melts in your mouth
And that’s not good

Apparently,
When you die,
You spin around in a circle
For all eternity

Oh my god,
Why is Caesar taking his clothes off?
Shakespeare wanted it this way

When I’m spinning
I’ll type your name
Into the computer
With my head

This had better be a musical
I don’t know,
They just started talking
About this “poopius” guy

You learn to get over it
Just keep thinking about how one day
She’ll die and you’ll be at her funeral
In bright red

My homeroom makes sure
To face the other way
When Spartan TV comes on

Good kids, good kids
I have to keep telling myself that
Or I forget

I love the Amish
And they love me
It’s sick, really

Tess is the nicest girl I know
You don’t even know Tess
I don’t stalk her though

I have the vertex of the wall
Digging into my back!
Probably a couple playful penguins too
It’s a Danwich!

It’s like being born again
Shouldn’t have taken my spot
Too late now
Seriously, this hurts really badly

Really? Because I’m fine
No
My left side is fine
It’s the Helen side that hurts

No a hero is not
A hoagie
A sandwich of heroic size!
What do you put on a hero?

It was a story long ago
Of a little red haired boy
At least
We think it was a boy

Great review you got
Great topic...
Has no knowledge of topic

It’s getting warm
I can smell the roof
Outside, it’s a sea of stickies

He had the bubonic plague
SARS?
Popcorn intelligence

They had to amputate his legs
When he woke from the coma
His wife had to tell him
That it was 2003

What did they do with the legs?

I had a little adventure today!
That’s right
Take the walk of shame

Picture of Atomic bomb
Were they actually that size?
They’re like nerf balls
We MIRVed the first rocket

Watch me as I throw this
Atomic bomb
Across two football fields

This is a map, kids
mmmm-mmap




When I die
I’m going to have someone
Write me something whimsical