The Best of the Quote Blog
After three hours of reading, Diana is proud to present:
The Best of the Quote Blog
"A beer garden... it's like the secret garden only with more drunkenness"-Frank
"They put my books on the elevator"-Frank
"The Doors Closed…. I think they might be on the first floor"-Frank
"The 'Pubsies, that's what they'll call us. Republican Socialists"-Kurt
"…wait, Republican socialists?"-Kate
"Mike's a girl 'cause he wears lipstick"-Kurt
"No, it's chapstick for my chapped lips"-Mike
"Mike has chapped lips 'cause he's a girl"-Kurt
"Mike, would you please read your answer out loud?"-Mr. Faust
"Sure Mr. Faust… 'They thought of Hitler as being a naziased Michael Jordan, a person who could lead their team (Germany) to the NBA final (WWII) and win the NBA championship (world domination)." –Mike
A Poem by: Neil Mattern
Bossy Bunnies found me one day
Urn jugs were in their paws
Numbers were on the jugs
Numbers meant something
Yes, they put me in the jars
"...Scott carried my books, I paid him in conversation hearts"--Diana
"Yeah, I'd better get those"--Scott
"Four pinks and two purples"—Diana
"There's gonna come one day when you wake up and you're dead."-Mr. Faust
"Quote me as saying 'Quote me" "-Kurt
"Mint me"-Kurt
"But.. I'm quoting you…"-Diana
"Mint me first"-Kurt
"You're never walking around looking for poo… someone is bound to step in it."-Randy
"Poland was right, so Kurt sucks"-Mike
"Assume the position"-Mrs. Wills
"Come on, fire drill, don't fail me now"-Frank
"Diana!"-Kurt
"Kurt, what the hell is wrong with you? Put some pants on"-Diana
"Whenever she starts talking about a project, I just move back here and all I can see is your head… nice hair by the way"-Katie
"Mr. Faust, do you know her name? She doesn't think you do"-Helen (about Kate)
"I'm gonna save up all of my welfare and go on a nice trip"—Kurt
"Who wrote all over the board? It says Nazi's vs Doug.."-Mr. Faust
"Everyone on Kurt"-Dan
"boo"-Kurt
*Kate throws a quarter*
"Kate, we're in the classroom!"-Diana
"I'm shocked, I'd expect that from a lesser person like Mike or myself"-Frank
"I'm the only one whose failing, I just scale the list for the F to find my name"-Joe
"Who is that girl? Who is she and why does she have braids?"-Katie
"na na na na na na na na Hitler!"-Kurt
"When Girl Scouts come to my cookies, I tell them I don't want any"-Howard
"What's the only sure way to prevent yourself from ever getting cancer?"-Mr. Terry
"Suicide"-Diana
"..."-Mr. Terry
“The syrup... it tasted burning...”—Helen '
“I was going to ask you if you were a vegan, but I realized you got French toast”—Stacey
“...I’m also eating bacon”—Helen
“Helen, from now on all you’re good for is ironing, cooking, and making babies”--Diana
“Did you guys just say you want to have babies?”—John
“Not just any babies...”—Helen
“Dave’s Babies”—Diana
“You know who I don’t like? My stand partner”—Helen
“Yeah, Helen, but it’s too bad you’re gay”—Diana
“You’re gay?”—CSP
“May I escort you to dinner?”—CSP to Helen
“Why don’t you just wait until he says something funny and be like ‘oh, I should tell that to my boyfriend’”—Andrew (trying to help Helen get rid of CSP)
“Or you could just pretend that you’re deaf in your left ear”—Harry
“Don’t people say Heyna where you’re from?”—Harry
“We’re from the same place”—Helen
“you’re not punk enough, I mean... you’re wearing a Julliard shirt”—Helen
“Who are they going to feed it to? The goats?... actually, that would be a good idea, you can raise a goat on this stuff”—Helen
“it’s like a shield protected Harry from the Blue Bunny!”—Helen
“Yeah, it’s called aerodynamics”—Harry
“If you peeled all of your skin off and mashed it into a ball, would it be bigger than your brain?”—Diana
“.. it’d be really scary”—Zach
“A day without Dane is like a day without radiation poisoning”—Helen
“It’s the black shirts! FASCISTS!”—Helen
“I’ll sabotage the musical by paying the singers to sing ‘Helen’ instead of ‘mame’”—Helen
“Sculptures lie!”—Katie
“Roman sculptures don’t lie!”—Helen
"I like my project, I don't care what my dad says about feudalism"--Helen
"I am from Yu-gi-oh, and I am someone with stupid ass hair"-Zach (animating Helen's key chains)
"Oh my god, why is Caesar taking his clothes off?"-Helen
"There go his pants..."
"Shakespeare wanted it this way"-Diana
"good kids, good kids... I have to keep telling myself that or I forget"-Faust
"Tess is the nicest girl I know"-Jason
"You don't even know Tess"-Kate
"I don't stalk her though"-Jason
"It's a danwich!"-Dan
"It's like being born again, Katie, HELP ME OUT!"-Dan
"I'm not going to help you, ... I'm going to throw things at you"-Katie
'"What? ... hey oww!"-Dan
“my left side is fine... it's the Helen side that hurts"-Dan
"That was a great review you got ...'Great topic...has no knowledge of topic' "-Faust
*Faust holds up a picture of an atomic bomb*
"were they actually that size?"-Kurt
"They're like nerf balls"-Frank
"Watch me as I throw this atomic bomb across two football fields"
"We MIRVed the first rocket-Faust
“ ‘My big fat polish wedding’... I wonder if it has to be heterosexual”—Helen
“send in our pictures”—Diana
“Do they celebrate Easter in England”—Joe
*chants ‘ignorant!’* --Joe
“What? The cleaning lady took your junk out of Mr. Faust’s drawers?”—Mike
“The cleaning lady opened her cabinet and put your junk in?”—Frank
“instead of avagadro’s number, I used Gorman’s number.... 8”—Gorman
“There’s no evidence if the list is in my head”—Helen
“Why are we here?”—Diana
“It’s where you belong”—Faust
(about the bomb threat) “I asked Mr. Faust why we were out here and he told me we were having an egg hunt”—Zach
“Ready for some Easter fun kids?”—Helen
“Why would you want to create a giant hole?”—Faust
so people would fall in it”—Frank
“If we were in France right now, we’d be in second grade”—Zach
“Yeah, well if we were in Japan, it’d be 10 at night.”—Randy
"Who do you like better? Doug or the boat?"-Diana
"Well, we try to destroy both"-Mike
"God, Diana, you're so skinny it sickening"
"I don't know how I do it, ... I mean all I do is eat"-Diana
"Diana, you're like the anti fat,... I need a Diana in me"-Katie
"I'm going to do my chem project on you"-Laura
"Touch the potato... it is your leader"-Frank
"Kurt, you need a brausbad"-Joe
"Urge to gloat rising"-Kurt
*pencils Kurt*
"Lowering"-Kurt
"I should have gotten a 4.0"-Pascoe
"Yeah, and I'm a size 6"-Kurt
"Was it you who saved my life?"-Helen
"If I was then I want it back"-Katie
"ok, pick something you guys think you need to practice"-Conductor
"we need to practice leaving"-Dale
"aaah! The crucifix! It burns my hand!"-Katie
"Diana? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?.... cup game"-Helen
"oh my god! That guy's helmet flew off!"-Diana
"See what you do to people?"-Susan
"He was in a mad fury to take it off to honor my presence"-Diana
"no... which one did you choose? Because it would seem to me that you should choose the one you shipped out LAST and not FIRST"-Diana
"...oh"-Guy on phone"
I see you don't have many return customers"-Diana
"The leader insulted me... he likes me better"-Kurt
*flashes his wallet*
"I'm officer Randy"-Randy
*Grabs Raph*
"spread your legs....... cooperate!"-Randy
*slams Raph into a wall*
"I don't want to do this... just cooperate, I'm your friend"-Randy
"Seriously, I'm just waiting for a guy to walk up to me and say 'there is beautiful you are' "-Kate
"What if you dye your skin yellow with daffodils?"-Katie
"How long do you think it would take to rub the color on yourself?"-Katie
"I don't know but it would take a whole lotta daffodils, ... we should ask Mrs. Morgis"-Helen
"Mrs. Morgis, how many daffodils would it take to dye yourself yellow? ... let's find out... a-one... a-two-oo..."-Diana
"She's on the phone"-Dan
"wow, Dan, that was funny in like September"-Kurt
"Why don't you get a new one for 99 cents?"-Pascoe
"Why don't you shut up for free?"-Kurt
"Joe likes anything to do with shoes, I swear to god he's a woman"-George
"What did you solve for?"-Mrs. Wills
"NaNO3"-Joe
"Well in that case... it's wrong"-Mrs. Wills
"oh, well how about..."-Joe
"oh my face... my FACE! My horribly disfigured face!"-Helen
"I opened a fresh one just for you"-Pam (about the ice cream)
"That must be why it's warm"-Dale
“Hello, Kevin, I am a creamer, I deposit cream”—Diana
“Why was the S in “seated” erased and then rewritten?”
“Please wait to be eated”—Helen
Rule eight: if you become infested with fungis scalpis, move to the fungis smatis space and remain quarantined for two turns.
“Imagine being in Yanni’s symphony orchestra”—Helen
“…and Strauss never composed anything that sounded like what you just played..”—CM
“You know, the oboes get the second highest pay in the orchestra”—CM
“What about the violas?”
“The violas pay the conductor”
"come on cellos… get rough" –CM
"Steve, I'm going to have to call this off... I mean... it's not you.... it's them."—Kate
"So, in essence, it goes... bean roni bean roni bean roni"--Mr. Frey
"holy macromolecule!"--Frank
Diana's Epitaph-As written by Zach
Friends are dear.
United as one.
Clearing away gray clouds.
Kites fly in the breeze.
You don't realize what you have,
Out of reach it becomes.
Urging to reach!
I miss you,
My best friends!
Dissolving into the earth.
Eternity awaits.
Awaiting me.
Detesting hate.
Paradoxdude: anywoo, goodnight
Paradoxdude: love and happiness
Diana172: nighty night
Diana172: you too, muffin
Paradoxdude: and FLOWERS STABBING YOU IN THE EYE
Paradoxdude: STABSTABSTABSTABSTAB
"Have I ever introduced you to the delightful world of smellory?"--Helen
"It's a german game, just smell the pots and match them to the pictures"—Helen
"Does anyone have any questions for the good of the junior class?"--Irv
"Dan's touching me and I'm confused"—Diana
"It's the not so big book of useless information"--Helen
"Yeah but it will become large, at which point we will erase the not so"—Diana
"so I hand her my concealed weapons permit and she says 'Well you didn't have to give me that one' and I said 'well you didn't have to card me'"--My dad
"And when I THROW IT UP the velocity is DECREASING!"—Matysczak
"You can't put a Y there!"--Helen"What? Gimpedy is SO a word"—Diana
**Words we used in Scrabble**"gimped""mordor""hernia""iraq""wuvizd" (past tense of wuv)
"We're all getting together to watch labyrinth tomorrow, who is coming?"--Helen
"Labyrinth? I hate that movie... is that the one with David Bowie?"--Carolyn
"...David Bowie... *in spandex*"—Diana
"I hate the cello, it's not even a real wind instrument"—Scott
"See, Helen's normal when she's by herself; and Diana's normal when she's by herself... it's when they get together..."—Kurt
"You went to the fair and you got sick? That's fitting"--Mrs. Matysczak
"Yeah, god got you"—Eli
ezikielbpenguin: no...during endless night...when you do the quarter notes...and the one part where you go rather low...descending down the scale to an Eflat i believe...everytime i get chills
Diana172: maybe you're epileptic
"Frolic in brine; goblins be thine"--Movie
*Collective "what the..?" from all*
"We could bribe them... like hey Mr. Jones... how about some chocolate? And you, Mr. Novrocki.. some dustless chalk?"--Helen
"I seriously love this word. I'm going to use it all the time... 'well... according to my choculations..'"—Diana
"I got the first four right, and I consider myself a physicist"--Dane
"I *like* the word macabre"—Helen
"also, if you're a prostitute, you shouldn't make your customers feel guilty... that's not the way to bring in the money"—Kate
"We goo tooo-gether like a real blind preacher and a fake blind preeacher!"--Kate (to the song from grease)
"So you sing like this when you're alone in your car?"--Diana
"Yeah I do... and when I'm on streets near my house, I drive on the left and talk with a british accent"—Dan
"I really wish you'd turn off this teenage crap"—My dad
"Dad, it's Shostakovich.."—Diana
"There's a CAT CRUCIFIED ON THE DOOR!!"—Helen
(Movie)"I could give you a ride more often..."--Mr. Wegmus
*puts his hand on her knee*
"I don't think my mother would allow that"—Sonya (/Movie)
"Why can't our math teacher be like that?"—Helen
"Hey, the window's open"--Helen
"Maybe an owl will fly in and this will turn into Labyrinth"--Diana
"Hoggle! noooo!"—Helen
"You know what I do about unhappiness?"--Movie
"I take out the 'unha' "—Diana
"Well, there's obviously going to be more goblins because hitler is on the loose and he has the goblin magic"—Helen
"Because I'm Pendragon"--Helen
"Salvador Dali"--Diana
"Hitler"--Helen
"Doc Holiday"—Diana
"What's that guy wearing? Put some pants on! ...this is going to be a good movie"--Diana
"Special graphic effects by phantascope.... thank you phantascope"--Helen
"I wish I was the master of all hobgoblins"—Helen
"What would you do if I only spoke in verse?"--Diana
"I'd be really impressed and follow you around with a tape recorder and write a book about my experiences with you"—Helen
"Well, I know how kids are, having had many little boys over to my house"--Kate
"And you're Roman Catholic, right?"--Mr. Jones
** kate would like to remind you that just because you’re a catholic priest or a catholic or think little boys are cute in a non-sexual way does not mean you are a pedophile
"Bye...we're walking home"--Diana
"Oh... hope you don't get raped!"--Noah
*Helen and I walk by the parking lot*
"Good luck!"—Noah
"You know what I miss doing?..... KAAATTEE MAAATTERN"—Dan
"Listen, when I have to think of how many days are in a year, I just think of Alice in Wonderland.... if I have 364 unbirthdays.... plus one real birthday.."—Kate
oh how I love noah
he wears a feather boa
and I know that noah
is not a protozoaoh
noah
take me to western samoa
"ELEVEN TIMES we had to spell Napoleon for ONE kid...."--Mrs. Giza
"Could he spell gonorrhea?"—Zach
"This looks pythagorean, John"--Kurt
"*too* pythagorean if you ask me"—John
"ooooh! Pneumatic door closer!"--Diana
"Diana, you're so weird"--Helen
"You would have said it too"--Diana
"I didn't..."--Helen
"But you were thinking it"--Diana
"ooo! Pneumatic door closer!"--Kurt(while we were arguing)
"Yo estoy sufriendo, y tu?"--Diana
"Si, mucho triste en la clase de espanol"--Jess
"Diana, tu eres muy loco"--Katie
"Si? Pero te acostas con vacas!"--Diana
"Que? No tengo un diccionario!"--Katie
"No puedes hacer eso. Las vacas estan muerto"--Katie
"Te leo, todos los noches, con vacas en tu cama! AYE CARAMBA!"--Diana
"Las vacas estan in TU cama y ellas estan muerto! Dime, Diana. Como encanta beto... beto chavez?"—Katie
"I'm just like my grandfather: I don't like cats because they remind me of nazis"—Kate
"wake me up inside"--John W.
"Why don't you wake up on the outside and realize you suck"—Robin
" 'No Solution Case'? ... I hope that means we don't have to do anything"--Kurt
"are you ready for the ambiguous case?"—John
"Oh, this is how the story goes:... so someone passes a salt shaker to Helen--Big Mistake!! She whacked it with her umbrella and it flew over and hit some nun right above the eye!"--Dale
"It's like... what's black and white and red all over? ........ THAT NUN!"—Dale
"And how did Kepler's laws apply?"--Mrs. Matysczak
"Well, in the Empire Strikes Back... the hyper drive wasn't working..."—Kurt
"We'll be discussing some of Thoreau's poetry"--Mr. Jones
"Thoreauetry"--Diana
"Ugh, Diana"--Helen
"..did anyone ever think you were cute when you'd say things like that?"--Mr. Jones
"Well... I think I'm cute"—Diana
“For poison, these cookies are sure delicious and wholesome” –Kate
"I like writing in black ink. .... and in cursive. I feel it's like a British accent"—excerpt from Diana’s childhood diary
"Unless they actively come and find me, there's no way I'm going to go up on that stage and make a speech when no one's running against me... I'm just going to sit here and laugh with everyone else"—Kate
"You look like you fell off your bike"--Girl in movie
"You look like chucky from child's play"—Frank
"And it was a bit of a shock... oh WHY do I keep saying that??"--Mr. Faust
"SHOCK!"--Entire class
"Ari Fleischer?! you dont even work here anymore!"-Kate
“Kurt, what are you doing?”—Zach
”I forgot my lunch so I’m eating ketchup and mayonnaise”—Kurt
“Oh”
“...I’m kidding”
“I love how Kurt told us he was eating condiments for lunch and none of us thought it was weird”—Diana
Diana172: if I could turn back time, I'd kick helen keller down a flight of stairs
Paradoxdude: if i could turn back time id ask helen keller on a blind date
Diana172: if I could turn back time, I'd squeeze lemon juice in helen keller's eyes... because hey, it doesn't even matter
AlienQ7: that's the last time i go to a women's lingerie emporium
AlienQ7: i'm going to put "free samples" in their suggestion box next time, though
“ my hair is long enough for me to gel it down in front of my eye like an eyepatch”--Dale
” my hair is long enough to form into a pillow for anytime comfort and support--Diana
”pffffh, my hair keeps me company in times of trouble”--Dale
”my hair is loved by all and keeps my ears from falling off”—Diana
“ i hide forks in my hair in case i ever get stranded on a dessert island and have no utensils to eat them with”—Dale
”I used my hair to save someone drowning in the river”—Diana
“ i used my hair to suffocate my worst enemy”--Dale
”I gelled my hair into one giant spike and was a cordless drill for Halloween”--Diana
”i used my hair to prevent a massive outbreak of rabies in children ages 3-2”--Dale
”I donated some of my hair to cancer patients and the entire hospital had Diana wigs”-Diana
”i donated my hair to science and they made several breakthroughs in the way rats tend to nest... coincidentally”—Dale
”I saw some lonely children on the side of the road one day and felt bad for them.. so I braided all of my hair into tiny braids and let them use me as a may pole”--Diana
”i saw some bald children on the road one day and felt so bad for them that i gave them grass to replace their lack of follicles”—Dale
"You just slapped me in the face with a fry!... and now you're eating it!"--Luke
"I trust where your face has been"—Zach
*YMCA comes on*
"Come on, dance!... We're spelling PMEA!"—Harry
"I can't believe we have to be at this dance... I could be studying... I'M MISSING MONK!"--Helen
"I miss my cello *makes crying face*"—Matt
"Let's take it from L... we can all go to L"--Conductor
"GO TO L!"—Conductor
*napkin conversation*
"DIANA IS NOT HOT"--Dale
"DIANA ISN'T NOT UNHOT"--Dale
"DIANA ISN'T NOTUNHOT"--Diana
"DIANA ISN'T NOT NON-UNHOT"--Dale
*/napkin conversation*
"She comes over and goes 'anyone here named Megan?' and then she'd whip a gun out of her trench coat and ... 'BAM!'....'anyone else?' "—Dale
"What I like about kix is that they're for everybody"--Dale
'"unlike trix"—Helen
"Kings College has good pickles... so if you're choosing your schools by pickle status..."—Helen
"And we all know from US history that lincoln died in..."--Mr. Jones
"The opera?"--Robin
"The US?"--Helen
"The head!"--Diana
"Oh, just take me out and shoot me now"--Mr. Jones
"It's like playing your instrument muted... now why would anyone do such a thing?"--Mr. Jones
"It needed to be done, Mr. Jones, I sacrificed myself for the good of the whole"—Diana
"And so I'm just sitting there making smart ass comments... you know how I do.."—Kurt
"What do you think kurt would do if you slapped him? Would he cry or get mad"--Diana
"I think he would both cry and be mad and you can tell him I said so"—Kate
"'was anything wrong with the book?' ... too much math"—Kurt
Tetsuo Rising: Gonna bring your Posse, Diana?
Diana172: uh, no, I'll take you down myself
Diana172: I'll show you what a force over a distance really is
Tetsuo Rising: Suuurrreee.
Tetsuo Rising: I'll redefine your world of vectors.
Diana172: I'll velocify your ass straight into the parking lot
Tetsuo Rising: Oh? Oh? I'll give you so many Watts, you'll be in Horsepower.
"I love this song... because your hand gets all red and bloody and you just want to stop... but you can't"--Cello Buddy
"Helen dropped a chocolate chip into her violin"--Jess
*sighs* "Only in Highschool pit"--Mr. K
"It went past the G-string and into the F-hole"—Carolyn
"aha! My coefficient of friction is greater than yours"--Diana
"I thought you said your coke addiction"--Helen
"Well we both know that"—Diana
"That's why you play the cello, Diana, so you can spread your legs"--Jess
"feel the vibration"—Sarah
***Sleeptite Tempo di Beer Garden***
"Giving them Kazoos was wrong"--Jess
"What's the point of this? This is what makes it three and a half hours long"--Cello Buddy
"if you don’t want a cookie, you can use the napkin to cry on"--Mr. Novrocki
"Every Thursday you have a survivor party?... what are you, queer?"--Mr. Jones
The Best of the Quote Blog
"A beer garden... it's like the secret garden only with more drunkenness"-Frank
"They put my books on the elevator"-Frank
"The Doors Closed…. I think they might be on the first floor"-Frank
"The 'Pubsies, that's what they'll call us. Republican Socialists"-Kurt
"…wait, Republican socialists?"-Kate
"Mike's a girl 'cause he wears lipstick"-Kurt
"No, it's chapstick for my chapped lips"-Mike
"Mike has chapped lips 'cause he's a girl"-Kurt
"Mike, would you please read your answer out loud?"-Mr. Faust
"Sure Mr. Faust… 'They thought of Hitler as being a naziased Michael Jordan, a person who could lead their team (Germany) to the NBA final (WWII) and win the NBA championship (world domination)." –Mike
A Poem by: Neil Mattern
Bossy Bunnies found me one day
Urn jugs were in their paws
Numbers were on the jugs
Numbers meant something
Yes, they put me in the jars
"...Scott carried my books, I paid him in conversation hearts"--Diana
"Yeah, I'd better get those"--Scott
"Four pinks and two purples"—Diana
"There's gonna come one day when you wake up and you're dead."-Mr. Faust
"Quote me as saying 'Quote me" "-Kurt
"Mint me"-Kurt
"But.. I'm quoting you…"-Diana
"Mint me first"-Kurt
"You're never walking around looking for poo… someone is bound to step in it."-Randy
"Poland was right, so Kurt sucks"-Mike
"Assume the position"-Mrs. Wills
"Come on, fire drill, don't fail me now"-Frank
"Diana!"-Kurt
"Kurt, what the hell is wrong with you? Put some pants on"-Diana
"Whenever she starts talking about a project, I just move back here and all I can see is your head… nice hair by the way"-Katie
"Mr. Faust, do you know her name? She doesn't think you do"-Helen (about Kate)
"I'm gonna save up all of my welfare and go on a nice trip"—Kurt
"Who wrote all over the board? It says Nazi's vs Doug.."-Mr. Faust
"Everyone on Kurt"-Dan
"boo"-Kurt
*Kate throws a quarter*
"Kate, we're in the classroom!"-Diana
"I'm shocked, I'd expect that from a lesser person like Mike or myself"-Frank
"I'm the only one whose failing, I just scale the list for the F to find my name"-Joe
"Who is that girl? Who is she and why does she have braids?"-Katie
"na na na na na na na na Hitler!"-Kurt
"When Girl Scouts come to my cookies, I tell them I don't want any"-Howard
"What's the only sure way to prevent yourself from ever getting cancer?"-Mr. Terry
"Suicide"-Diana
"..."-Mr. Terry
“The syrup... it tasted burning...”—Helen '
“I was going to ask you if you were a vegan, but I realized you got French toast”—Stacey
“...I’m also eating bacon”—Helen
“Helen, from now on all you’re good for is ironing, cooking, and making babies”--Diana
“Did you guys just say you want to have babies?”—John
“Not just any babies...”—Helen
“Dave’s Babies”—Diana
“You know who I don’t like? My stand partner”—Helen
“Yeah, Helen, but it’s too bad you’re gay”—Diana
“You’re gay?”—CSP
“May I escort you to dinner?”—CSP to Helen
“Why don’t you just wait until he says something funny and be like ‘oh, I should tell that to my boyfriend’”—Andrew (trying to help Helen get rid of CSP)
“Or you could just pretend that you’re deaf in your left ear”—Harry
“Don’t people say Heyna where you’re from?”—Harry
“We’re from the same place”—Helen
“you’re not punk enough, I mean... you’re wearing a Julliard shirt”—Helen
“Who are they going to feed it to? The goats?... actually, that would be a good idea, you can raise a goat on this stuff”—Helen
“it’s like a shield protected Harry from the Blue Bunny!”—Helen
“Yeah, it’s called aerodynamics”—Harry
“If you peeled all of your skin off and mashed it into a ball, would it be bigger than your brain?”—Diana
“.. it’d be really scary”—Zach
“A day without Dane is like a day without radiation poisoning”—Helen
“It’s the black shirts! FASCISTS!”—Helen
“I’ll sabotage the musical by paying the singers to sing ‘Helen’ instead of ‘mame’”—Helen
“Sculptures lie!”—Katie
“Roman sculptures don’t lie!”—Helen
"I like my project, I don't care what my dad says about feudalism"--Helen
"I am from Yu-gi-oh, and I am someone with stupid ass hair"-Zach (animating Helen's key chains)
"Oh my god, why is Caesar taking his clothes off?"-Helen
"There go his pants..."
"Shakespeare wanted it this way"-Diana
"good kids, good kids... I have to keep telling myself that or I forget"-Faust
"Tess is the nicest girl I know"-Jason
"You don't even know Tess"-Kate
"I don't stalk her though"-Jason
"It's a danwich!"-Dan
"It's like being born again, Katie, HELP ME OUT!"-Dan
"I'm not going to help you, ... I'm going to throw things at you"-Katie
'"What? ... hey oww!"-Dan
“my left side is fine... it's the Helen side that hurts"-Dan
"That was a great review you got ...'Great topic...has no knowledge of topic' "-Faust
*Faust holds up a picture of an atomic bomb*
"were they actually that size?"-Kurt
"They're like nerf balls"-Frank
"Watch me as I throw this atomic bomb across two football fields"
"We MIRVed the first rocket-Faust
“ ‘My big fat polish wedding’... I wonder if it has to be heterosexual”—Helen
“send in our pictures”—Diana
“Do they celebrate Easter in England”—Joe
*chants ‘ignorant!’* --Joe
“What? The cleaning lady took your junk out of Mr. Faust’s drawers?”—Mike
“The cleaning lady opened her cabinet and put your junk in?”—Frank
“instead of avagadro’s number, I used Gorman’s number.... 8”—Gorman
“There’s no evidence if the list is in my head”—Helen
“Why are we here?”—Diana
“It’s where you belong”—Faust
(about the bomb threat) “I asked Mr. Faust why we were out here and he told me we were having an egg hunt”—Zach
“Ready for some Easter fun kids?”—Helen
“Why would you want to create a giant hole?”—Faust
so people would fall in it”—Frank
“If we were in France right now, we’d be in second grade”—Zach
“Yeah, well if we were in Japan, it’d be 10 at night.”—Randy
"Who do you like better? Doug or the boat?"-Diana
"Well, we try to destroy both"-Mike
"God, Diana, you're so skinny it sickening"
"I don't know how I do it, ... I mean all I do is eat"-Diana
"Diana, you're like the anti fat,... I need a Diana in me"-Katie
"I'm going to do my chem project on you"-Laura
"Touch the potato... it is your leader"-Frank
"Kurt, you need a brausbad"-Joe
"Urge to gloat rising"-Kurt
*pencils Kurt*
"Lowering"-Kurt
"I should have gotten a 4.0"-Pascoe
"Yeah, and I'm a size 6"-Kurt
"Was it you who saved my life?"-Helen
"If I was then I want it back"-Katie
"ok, pick something you guys think you need to practice"-Conductor
"we need to practice leaving"-Dale
"aaah! The crucifix! It burns my hand!"-Katie
"Diana? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?.... cup game"-Helen
"oh my god! That guy's helmet flew off!"-Diana
"See what you do to people?"-Susan
"He was in a mad fury to take it off to honor my presence"-Diana
"no... which one did you choose? Because it would seem to me that you should choose the one you shipped out LAST and not FIRST"-Diana
"...oh"-Guy on phone"
I see you don't have many return customers"-Diana
"The leader insulted me... he likes me better"-Kurt
*flashes his wallet*
"I'm officer Randy"-Randy
*Grabs Raph*
"spread your legs....... cooperate!"-Randy
*slams Raph into a wall*
"I don't want to do this... just cooperate, I'm your friend"-Randy
"Seriously, I'm just waiting for a guy to walk up to me and say 'there is beautiful you are' "-Kate
"What if you dye your skin yellow with daffodils?"-Katie
"How long do you think it would take to rub the color on yourself?"-Katie
"I don't know but it would take a whole lotta daffodils, ... we should ask Mrs. Morgis"-Helen
"Mrs. Morgis, how many daffodils would it take to dye yourself yellow? ... let's find out... a-one... a-two-oo..."-Diana
"She's on the phone"-Dan
"wow, Dan, that was funny in like September"-Kurt
"Why don't you get a new one for 99 cents?"-Pascoe
"Why don't you shut up for free?"-Kurt
"Joe likes anything to do with shoes, I swear to god he's a woman"-George
"What did you solve for?"-Mrs. Wills
"NaNO3"-Joe
"Well in that case... it's wrong"-Mrs. Wills
"oh, well how about..."-Joe
"oh my face... my FACE! My horribly disfigured face!"-Helen
"I opened a fresh one just for you"-Pam (about the ice cream)
"That must be why it's warm"-Dale
“Hello, Kevin, I am a creamer, I deposit cream”—Diana
“Why was the S in “seated” erased and then rewritten?”
“Please wait to be eated”—Helen
Rule eight: if you become infested with fungis scalpis, move to the fungis smatis space and remain quarantined for two turns.
“Imagine being in Yanni’s symphony orchestra”—Helen
“…and Strauss never composed anything that sounded like what you just played..”—CM
“You know, the oboes get the second highest pay in the orchestra”—CM
“What about the violas?”
“The violas pay the conductor”
"come on cellos… get rough" –CM
"Steve, I'm going to have to call this off... I mean... it's not you.... it's them."—Kate
"So, in essence, it goes... bean roni bean roni bean roni"--Mr. Frey
"holy macromolecule!"--Frank
Diana's Epitaph-As written by Zach
Friends are dear.
United as one.
Clearing away gray clouds.
Kites fly in the breeze.
You don't realize what you have,
Out of reach it becomes.
Urging to reach!
I miss you,
My best friends!
Dissolving into the earth.
Eternity awaits.
Awaiting me.
Detesting hate.
Paradoxdude: anywoo, goodnight
Paradoxdude: love and happiness
Diana172: nighty night
Diana172: you too, muffin
Paradoxdude: and FLOWERS STABBING YOU IN THE EYE
Paradoxdude: STABSTABSTABSTABSTAB
"Have I ever introduced you to the delightful world of smellory?"--Helen
"It's a german game, just smell the pots and match them to the pictures"—Helen
"Does anyone have any questions for the good of the junior class?"--Irv
"Dan's touching me and I'm confused"—Diana
"It's the not so big book of useless information"--Helen
"Yeah but it will become large, at which point we will erase the not so"—Diana
"so I hand her my concealed weapons permit and she says 'Well you didn't have to give me that one' and I said 'well you didn't have to card me'"--My dad
"And when I THROW IT UP the velocity is DECREASING!"—Matysczak
"You can't put a Y there!"--Helen"What? Gimpedy is SO a word"—Diana
**Words we used in Scrabble**"gimped""mordor""hernia""iraq""wuvizd" (past tense of wuv)
"We're all getting together to watch labyrinth tomorrow, who is coming?"--Helen
"Labyrinth? I hate that movie... is that the one with David Bowie?"--Carolyn
"...David Bowie... *in spandex*"—Diana
"I hate the cello, it's not even a real wind instrument"—Scott
"See, Helen's normal when she's by herself; and Diana's normal when she's by herself... it's when they get together..."—Kurt
"You went to the fair and you got sick? That's fitting"--Mrs. Matysczak
"Yeah, god got you"—Eli
ezikielbpenguin: no...during endless night...when you do the quarter notes...and the one part where you go rather low...descending down the scale to an Eflat i believe...everytime i get chills
Diana172: maybe you're epileptic
"Frolic in brine; goblins be thine"--Movie
*Collective "what the..?" from all*
"We could bribe them... like hey Mr. Jones... how about some chocolate? And you, Mr. Novrocki.. some dustless chalk?"--Helen
"I seriously love this word. I'm going to use it all the time... 'well... according to my choculations..'"—Diana
"I got the first four right, and I consider myself a physicist"--Dane
"I *like* the word macabre"—Helen
"also, if you're a prostitute, you shouldn't make your customers feel guilty... that's not the way to bring in the money"—Kate
"We goo tooo-gether like a real blind preacher and a fake blind preeacher!"--Kate (to the song from grease)
"So you sing like this when you're alone in your car?"--Diana
"Yeah I do... and when I'm on streets near my house, I drive on the left and talk with a british accent"—Dan
"I really wish you'd turn off this teenage crap"—My dad
"Dad, it's Shostakovich.."—Diana
"There's a CAT CRUCIFIED ON THE DOOR!!"—Helen
(Movie)"I could give you a ride more often..."--Mr. Wegmus
*puts his hand on her knee*
"I don't think my mother would allow that"—Sonya (/Movie)
"Why can't our math teacher be like that?"—Helen
"Hey, the window's open"--Helen
"Maybe an owl will fly in and this will turn into Labyrinth"--Diana
"Hoggle! noooo!"—Helen
"You know what I do about unhappiness?"--Movie
"I take out the 'unha' "—Diana
"Well, there's obviously going to be more goblins because hitler is on the loose and he has the goblin magic"—Helen
"Because I'm Pendragon"--Helen
"Salvador Dali"--Diana
"Hitler"--Helen
"Doc Holiday"—Diana
"What's that guy wearing? Put some pants on! ...this is going to be a good movie"--Diana
"Special graphic effects by phantascope.... thank you phantascope"--Helen
"I wish I was the master of all hobgoblins"—Helen
"What would you do if I only spoke in verse?"--Diana
"I'd be really impressed and follow you around with a tape recorder and write a book about my experiences with you"—Helen
"Well, I know how kids are, having had many little boys over to my house"--Kate
"And you're Roman Catholic, right?"--Mr. Jones
** kate would like to remind you that just because you’re a catholic priest or a catholic or think little boys are cute in a non-sexual way does not mean you are a pedophile
"Bye...we're walking home"--Diana
"Oh... hope you don't get raped!"--Noah
*Helen and I walk by the parking lot*
"Good luck!"—Noah
"You know what I miss doing?..... KAAATTEE MAAATTERN"—Dan
"Listen, when I have to think of how many days are in a year, I just think of Alice in Wonderland.... if I have 364 unbirthdays.... plus one real birthday.."—Kate
oh how I love noah
he wears a feather boa
and I know that noah
is not a protozoaoh
noah
take me to western samoa
"ELEVEN TIMES we had to spell Napoleon for ONE kid...."--Mrs. Giza
"Could he spell gonorrhea?"—Zach
"This looks pythagorean, John"--Kurt
"*too* pythagorean if you ask me"—John
"ooooh! Pneumatic door closer!"--Diana
"Diana, you're so weird"--Helen
"You would have said it too"--Diana
"I didn't..."--Helen
"But you were thinking it"--Diana
"ooo! Pneumatic door closer!"--Kurt(while we were arguing)
"Yo estoy sufriendo, y tu?"--Diana
"Si, mucho triste en la clase de espanol"--Jess
"Diana, tu eres muy loco"--Katie
"Si? Pero te acostas con vacas!"--Diana
"Que? No tengo un diccionario!"--Katie
"No puedes hacer eso. Las vacas estan muerto"--Katie
"Te leo, todos los noches, con vacas en tu cama! AYE CARAMBA!"--Diana
"Las vacas estan in TU cama y ellas estan muerto! Dime, Diana. Como encanta beto... beto chavez?"—Katie
"I'm just like my grandfather: I don't like cats because they remind me of nazis"—Kate
"wake me up inside"--John W.
"Why don't you wake up on the outside and realize you suck"—Robin
" 'No Solution Case'? ... I hope that means we don't have to do anything"--Kurt
"are you ready for the ambiguous case?"—John
"Oh, this is how the story goes:... so someone passes a salt shaker to Helen--Big Mistake!! She whacked it with her umbrella and it flew over and hit some nun right above the eye!"--Dale
"It's like... what's black and white and red all over? ........ THAT NUN!"—Dale
"And how did Kepler's laws apply?"--Mrs. Matysczak
"Well, in the Empire Strikes Back... the hyper drive wasn't working..."—Kurt
"We'll be discussing some of Thoreau's poetry"--Mr. Jones
"Thoreauetry"--Diana
"Ugh, Diana"--Helen
"..did anyone ever think you were cute when you'd say things like that?"--Mr. Jones
"Well... I think I'm cute"—Diana
“For poison, these cookies are sure delicious and wholesome” –Kate
"I like writing in black ink. .... and in cursive. I feel it's like a British accent"—excerpt from Diana’s childhood diary
"Unless they actively come and find me, there's no way I'm going to go up on that stage and make a speech when no one's running against me... I'm just going to sit here and laugh with everyone else"—Kate
"You look like you fell off your bike"--Girl in movie
"You look like chucky from child's play"—Frank
"And it was a bit of a shock... oh WHY do I keep saying that??"--Mr. Faust
"SHOCK!"--Entire class
"Ari Fleischer?! you dont even work here anymore!"-Kate
“Kurt, what are you doing?”—Zach
”I forgot my lunch so I’m eating ketchup and mayonnaise”—Kurt
“Oh”
“...I’m kidding”
“I love how Kurt told us he was eating condiments for lunch and none of us thought it was weird”—Diana
Diana172: if I could turn back time, I'd kick helen keller down a flight of stairs
Paradoxdude: if i could turn back time id ask helen keller on a blind date
Diana172: if I could turn back time, I'd squeeze lemon juice in helen keller's eyes... because hey, it doesn't even matter
AlienQ7: that's the last time i go to a women's lingerie emporium
AlienQ7: i'm going to put "free samples" in their suggestion box next time, though
“ my hair is long enough for me to gel it down in front of my eye like an eyepatch”--Dale
” my hair is long enough to form into a pillow for anytime comfort and support--Diana
”pffffh, my hair keeps me company in times of trouble”--Dale
”my hair is loved by all and keeps my ears from falling off”—Diana
“ i hide forks in my hair in case i ever get stranded on a dessert island and have no utensils to eat them with”—Dale
”I used my hair to save someone drowning in the river”—Diana
“ i used my hair to suffocate my worst enemy”--Dale
”I gelled my hair into one giant spike and was a cordless drill for Halloween”--Diana
”i used my hair to prevent a massive outbreak of rabies in children ages 3-2”--Dale
”I donated some of my hair to cancer patients and the entire hospital had Diana wigs”-Diana
”i donated my hair to science and they made several breakthroughs in the way rats tend to nest... coincidentally”—Dale
”I saw some lonely children on the side of the road one day and felt bad for them.. so I braided all of my hair into tiny braids and let them use me as a may pole”--Diana
”i saw some bald children on the road one day and felt so bad for them that i gave them grass to replace their lack of follicles”—Dale
"You just slapped me in the face with a fry!... and now you're eating it!"--Luke
"I trust where your face has been"—Zach
*YMCA comes on*
"Come on, dance!... We're spelling PMEA!"—Harry
"I can't believe we have to be at this dance... I could be studying... I'M MISSING MONK!"--Helen
"I miss my cello *makes crying face*"—Matt
"Let's take it from L... we can all go to L"--Conductor
"GO TO L!"—Conductor
*napkin conversation*
"DIANA IS NOT HOT"--Dale
"DIANA ISN'T NOT UNHOT"--Dale
"DIANA ISN'T NOT
"DIANA ISN'T NOT NON-
*/napkin conversation*
"She comes over and goes 'anyone here named Megan?' and then she'd whip a gun out of her trench coat and ... 'BAM!'....'anyone else?' "—Dale
"What I like about kix is that they're for everybody"--Dale
'"unlike trix"—Helen
"Kings College has good pickles... so if you're choosing your schools by pickle status..."—Helen
"And we all know from US history that lincoln died in..."--Mr. Jones
"The opera?"--Robin
"The US?"--Helen
"The head!"--Diana
"Oh, just take me out and shoot me now"--Mr. Jones
"It's like playing your instrument muted... now why would anyone do such a thing?"--Mr. Jones
"It needed to be done, Mr. Jones, I sacrificed myself for the good of the whole"—Diana
"And so I'm just sitting there making smart ass comments... you know how I do.."—Kurt
"What do you think kurt would do if you slapped him? Would he cry or get mad"--Diana
"I think he would both cry and be mad and you can tell him I said so"—Kate
"'was anything wrong with the book?' ... too much math"—Kurt
Tetsuo Rising: Gonna bring your Posse, Diana?
Diana172: uh, no, I'll take you down myself
Diana172: I'll show you what a force over a distance really is
Tetsuo Rising: Suuurrreee.
Tetsuo Rising: I'll redefine your world of vectors.
Diana172: I'll velocify your ass straight into the parking lot
Tetsuo Rising: Oh? Oh? I'll give you so many Watts, you'll be in Horsepower.
"I love this song... because your hand gets all red and bloody and you just want to stop... but you can't"--Cello Buddy
"Helen dropped a chocolate chip into her violin"--Jess
*sighs* "Only in Highschool pit"--Mr. K
"It went past the G-string and into the F-hole"—Carolyn
"aha! My coefficient of friction is greater than yours"--Diana
"I thought you said your coke addiction"--Helen
"Well we both know that"—Diana
"That's why you play the cello, Diana, so you can spread your legs"--Jess
"feel the vibration"—Sarah
***Sleeptite Tempo di Beer Garden***
"Giving them Kazoos was wrong"--Jess
"What's the point of this? This is what makes it three and a half hours long"--Cello Buddy
"if you don’t want a cookie, you can use the napkin to cry on"--Mr. Novrocki
"Every Thursday you have a survivor party?... what are you, queer?"--Mr. Jones
posted by Diana @ 2:06 AM
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