*** Special Feature: John Goes to Jail ***


Paradoxdude: hey
Diana172: hey, I'm going to go play age of mythology
Paradoxdude: i spent last night in jail
Diana172: ok tell me why


Diana172: so how was the slammer
Paradoxdude: misdemenor
Paradoxdude: really really lame
Paradoxdude: i made alot of oragami out of the inmates handbook


Paradoxdude: and i learned alot of stuff
Paradoxdude: like how someone got bored enough to invent solitare



Diana172: did anyone rape you? did you shower with men? did you have to pee in front of people? did you eat the food? if so, was the food good?
Paradoxdude: no, no, yes but they were all asleep, none was offered, any food would have been good



Diana172: they didn't feed you?
Diana172: was your bed comfortable
Paradoxdude: no, i was there for 8 hours
Paradoxdude: it wasnt that bad but i didnt sleep



Diana172: were you scared of the other men
Paradoxdude: nah
Diana172: were they burly?
Paradoxdude: some were but most people were asleep
Diana172: the stereotypical jail type?
Paradoxdude: one polish guy with a thick accent yelled at me for being so polite to everyone




Diana172: were you allowed access to their library so you could brush up on your law?
Paradoxdude: i would have in the morning, you cant access the entire law library, only make requests



Diana172: how many people were in your cell? was it like a big party like on ren and stimpy when they were in the pound?
Paradoxdude: hahaha
Diana172: or was it like chicago and everyone did a sexy dance number
Paradoxdude: yea, thats more like it





Diana172: lol, how many people were in your cell
Paradoxdude: 16, it wasnt really a cell
Paradoxdude: like, in the middle room was two cafeteria type tables, and on each side were 4 "cells" but they were all open



Diana172: were there bars? and could you look through them to some hallway where at the end of it you could see the keys and there was a dog and you tried to get him to bring them to you?



Paradoxdude: i think the part that upset me the most was that none of them thought that i did anything bad, they were all aplogetic acting, like "im just doing my job"
Diana172: lol, did you make friends
Diana172: did you promise to break them out



Paradoxdude: the nurse was pretty cool, he kept making jokes, and gave me the nickname ganjauana
Paradoxdude: imagine an older weird al with a grateful dead tattoo



Diana172: did you get a prison pen pal? did you get to sit in a room with a big glass wall and talk to someone on the phone in there while they're on the other side of the glass?
Paradoxdude: i wish i had a pen pal
Paradoxdude: that would rock




Paradoxdude: the best part is no one read me my miranda rights


Diana172: did you get to make your "one phone call"?
Paradoxdude: yea, i called my mom who already knew and she said that she was going to bed



Paradoxdude: it was under 20 grams so ill probely get community service
Diana172: cool, you can tell old people about how jail hardened you



Paradoxdude: i gotta go get ready, im playing a show tonight
Diana172: haha, be like "it's my first day out of jail"
Diana172: and make them welcome you back to society



Paradoxdude: i just called someone to let them know that i was out and could play and in the backround "welcome back" is exactly what i heard



Diana172: was there tv?
Paradoxdude: no
Diana172: damn, was it clean?
Paradoxdude: i think there was one for the daytime



Paradoxdude: i was there from 10 pm till 6 am, so there was nothing going on, just alot of people sleeping
Diana172: but was it clean?
Paradoxdude: yea
Paradoxdude: there was some orange shit on the holding cell that i couldnt indentify