Diana Taunts Helen/ Diana's Stalking Habits

(name of boy has been changed to "xander" , sorry >_<) (name brought to you by Helen)

Diana172: so I see xander is online *nudge nudge* ;-)
PurpleHelKat: hasn't talked to me
PurpleHelKat: muhahahahaha
PurpleHelKat: *wipes sweat off brow*
PurpleHelKat: thank god



Diana172: I'll tell him you really like him and you want to talk to him
PurpleHelKat: I WOULD SERIOUSLY SLAUGHTER YOU



Diana172: hello xander, I've never IMed you before
PurpleHelKat: come to your house and kill you
Diana172: but I thought you should know that helen has a HUGE thing for you
Diana172: and she's so sad she called it off
Diana172: and she wants you back
Diana172: BAD




PurpleHelKat: and i would cut off all your hair
PurpleHelKat: and break your fingers
PurpleHelKat: so you could never play cello again
Diana172: so if you love her too, please call ***-**** and ask for helen
Diana172: and then say "helen, my love, I feel the same way"



PurpleHelKat: and i'll find all the speds
PurpleHelKat: and tell them you're hot for them
Diana172: and if she fiends confusion, just keep on telling her how much you love her
PurpleHelKat: and even though you say no
Diana172: she'll really like it
PurpleHelKat: it means yes, yes, yes
Diana172: tis a woman's way to protest
Diana172: just keep pushing'
PurpleHelKat: just keep raping
PurpleHelKat: lol
PurpleHelKat: woops




Diana172: in fact, if she hangs up on you out of embarrassment of her love for you
Diana172: just call her back
Diana172: and if she accidentally leaves the phone off the hook
Diana172: why just stop on by
Diana172: bring your mandolin
Diana172: ;-)



PurpleHelKat: i hate you




Diana172: the next time xander IMs you tell him you're gay
PurpleHelKat: it's worked before
PurpleHelKat: or could have if i had played along, lol
Diana172: it didn't work because you crapped it up
Diana172: you're gay?
Diana172: answer YES not ...no
PurpleHelKat: lollll
PurpleHelKat: i'm sorry




PurpleHelKat: i....went blind
PurpleHelKat: and can't read your messages
Diana172: I'm blind in my both eyes




PurpleHelKat: no, just one
PurpleHelKat: colorblind
Diana172: I have no depth perception
PurpleHelKat: so the box is blank
Diana172: I cannot date you



PurpleHelKat: meh, who cares
PurpleHelKat: except then you'll just be like
PurpleHelKat: helen told me to talk to you
PurpleHelKat: and he'll be like
PurpleHelKat: helen?! i love her
PurpleHelKat: and im me
PurpleHelKat: so don't talk to him




Diana172: a capital idea!
PurpleHelKat: yeah, the not talking to him part
PurpleHelKat: *fist shake*



Diana172: dearest xander, I have instantly messaged you on behalf of the fair lady helen


PurpleHelKat: i wish the most painful of deaths on you
PurpleHelKat: why do you have this power over me?!
PurpleHelKat: oh that's right
Diana172: she wishes to speak with you, but knows not how to say it
PurpleHelKat: because i'm easy to blackmail
Diana172: why because I know you love xander?
Diana172: love love love love love



PurpleHelKat: no, because you know i don't know how to handle awkward social situations
PurpleHelKat: when i don't like the person i'm talking to, lol
Diana172: so i put you in those situations and watch my havoc
PurpleHelKat: bastard




Diana172: hey helen, I love vegeta
PurpleHelKat: ahahahahaha
PurpleHelKat: oh the situations i get in
Diana172: hey sexy, if you're nice I'll turn the pages for you
Diana172: and write in the bowings
Diana172: by the way, nice hair
PurpleHelKat: grrrrr
Diana172: what's that? I'm sorry, I've been deaf in my left ear since birth




PurpleHelKat: you make great background stories
PurpleHelKat: so realistic and detailed



Diana172: yay, he must have seen you when he was on his other sn and now he wants to talk to you
Diana172: his one true love
PurpleHelKat: f u



Diana172: there's graffitti all over the bathrooms in valley west about you
Diana172: helen + xander = love forever
Diana172: forever transcends breaking up
PurpleHelKat: i'll just cross out helen
PurpleHelKat: and write in diana
PurpleHelKat: what then?!




PurpleHelKat: how would you know?!
PurpleHelKat: staaaaaalker
PurpleHelKat: lol
Diana172: yeah I stalk xander because who else am I gonna stalk
Diana172: OH GOD!!!
Diana172: I didnt' tell you




Diana172: ok I stalk this kid
Diana172: like every day
Diana172: but it's subtle stalking
PurpleHelKat: whoooooo?!
Diana172: I dont' know



Diana172: I try to leave french so I'll be behind him on the stairs
Diana172: so anyway
Diana172: it's totally not noticeable
PurpleHelKat: i love doing stuff like that
PurpleHelKat: planning routes to class so you may bump into the stalkee
Diana172: it really could just be a coincidence or I could just be stalking someone else
PurpleHelKat: like when i stalked *him* last year




Diana172: anyway, here's what happened
Diana172: I was coming down the stairs
Diana172: and this kid behind me ran in front of me and to the stalkee
Diana172: and said there she is
PurpleHelKat: ahahahahahahahah
Diana172: I ..DIED




PurpleHelKat: oh...my...god!!!!
Diana172: the stairs are totally crowded and I definitely do not stalk to the point of it being noticeable
Diana172: so then I started thinking
Diana172: hey, sometimes I see him behind me in the halls, and we always make eye contact even if it's brief
PurpleHelKat: ooooooo
Diana172: no facial expressions though, just glances
PurpleHelKat: is he hot?
Diana172: HE'S STALKING ME TOO!!!



PurpleHelKat: is he legal?
Diana172: my stalkee is also my stalkER
PurpleHelKat: that's AWESOME
Diana172: I DIED
Diana172: DIED DIED DIED
Diana172: then I threw my head back and laughed when no one was around



PurpleHelKat: seriously, as an avid stalker myself, i think that's wicked cool
PurpleHelKat: you heard me
Diana172: how fucking awesome is that
PurpleHelKat: wicked cool




Diana172: oh I didn't finish
Diana172: so the kid says there she is
PurpleHelKat: it gets better?
Diana172: he turns around and looks me right in the eye and smiled and blushed and turned back quickly
PurpleHelKat: ahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhaa
PurpleHelKat: ahahahahahahaha
PurpleHelKat: yeah!!!!!
PurpleHelKat: it's actually weird how happy i am on your behalf
Diana172: I seriously almost died, and it was so hard to not make any sort of facial expression
Diana172: keep your poker face when your stalkee confronts you




PurpleHelKat: happy moments
Diana172: so then I started stalking him more
Diana172: naturally...
PurpleHelKat: of course, of course




PurpleHelKat: say hi!!!
Diana172: show someone you care by booking them, pretending it was an accident, and then talking to them
PurpleHelKat: do it
Diana172: I'm scared



PurpleHelKat: is he cute?
Diana172: no
Diana172: oh god no
Diana172: this is Diana




PurpleHelKat: i mean come on
PurpleHelKat: the stalkee should at least be hot if you know nothing about him




PurpleHelKat: ...is he fat
Diana172: maybe
PurpleHelKat: maybe?!
PurpleHelKat: that's yes isn't it
Diana172: ...maybe
PurpleHelKat: *shakes head in disgust*
Diana172: he's not that fat




PurpleHelKat: you're so weird
PurpleHelKat: atleast my stalkees are attractive
PurpleHelKat: i mean if you know a guy, you can judge him on other things
PurpleHelKat: intelligence, humor
PurpleHelKat: well, attractive in my opinion



Diana172: give me a cool boy's name
PurpleHelKat: xander
Diana172: so when I put this into the qb I change **** to said name




Diana172: I probably shouldn't leave ******* in
Diana172: I'll put guitar
PurpleHelKat: ahahahahahaha
Diana172: or mandolin
Diana172: you choose
PurpleHelKat: mandolin!



Diana172: mandolin it is
PurpleHelKat: then people will know it's a parody
Diana172: lol
Diana172: or that you have a stalker who plays the mandolin



Diana172: he was like, yeah there's something wrong with my bronchial tubes
Diana172: and I just snapped out of my daze and said really loud "like yuki?!"?
Diana172: and then I was embarrassed
PurpleHelKat: nu huh?!
PurpleHelKat: ahahahahahahahaha




Diana172: but he did know what I was talking about
Diana172: so it was ok
PurpleHelKat: are you serious?
Diana172: at best buy


PurpleHelKat: he knew what you were talking about
PurpleHelKat: that's hot
PurpleHelKat: super hot
Diana172: yeah it is
Diana172: or gay
Diana172: super gay


PurpleHelKat: my parents are also starting to worry
PurpleHelKat: because i spend so much time on aim, lol
Diana172: tell them you have an internet friend
Diana172: and you're planning to meet one day in the near future
Diana172: and discuss marriage
Diana172: and babies
PurpleHelKat: yeah, that would help the issue
PurpleHelKat: thanks for the advice



Diana172: no problem, anytime
Diana172: I hate when I have the chance to use semi colons but I don't