“I think there’s something wrong with my ear... it’s all stuffy”—Helen
“like with fluid or earwax?”—Diana
“lil’ of both”—Helen

“If we were in France right now, we’d be in second grade”—Zach
“Yeah, if we were in Japan, it’d be 10 at night.”—Randy

“If Dane and Alan were to get married, who would be the female?”—Doug

“Who did you vote for?”—Dan
“Dane”—Diana
“Really? But Dane is so perverted”—Dan
“But he could just be covering... so he’s just closeted”—Diana

“Mr. Faust, if Dane and Alan were getting married, who would wear the pants?”—Mike
“That’s a question that plagues us all”—Fausty

“It’s one where you have to tell the chemical reactions of a product”—Helen
“I’ll do oxygen”—Frank
“Crack, I’ll do crack”—Kurt

“Mr. Faust, guess what? That’s my birthday”—Doug
“Which one?”—Faust
“Both”—Doug
“Well that explains a lot”—Fausty

“Which part came out first and had to wait for the other half?”—Fausty

“You’d be like a fry that’s been in the oven for a month”—Faust
“Mr. Frey?”
“No, not Mr. Frey, but I’ll tell him that you said that when I go to the copy machine”—Faust
“You go there a lot?”—Frank
“Oh yeah, it’s a happenin’ place”—Faust

“no atomic bomb was designed to hit the ground”—Faust
“Why not?”—Frank
“Why would you want to create a giant hole?”—Faust
“so people would fall in it”—Frank

“I don’t think I can trust you anymore, TV, you’ve already lied to me once”—Helen


*bomb threat of fun section*

“I think this thing is made out of pipes... bathroom pipes”—Helen

“I asked Mr. Faust why we were out here and he told me we were having an egg hunt”—Zach
“Ready for some Easter fun kids?”--Helen

“Oh my god, we have to find him so he’ll tell us that”—Diana
“It’s just not as good unless he says it to you”—Helen

“If you lose you die”—Katie
“you have to go back into the school”—Diana

“It’s like Titanic!”—Zach
“No it’s not, unless we’re in the ocean”—Diana

“Mrs. Morgis got into her car and turned it on... but I think she’s just cold so she’s sitting in the heat”—Diana
“No, she’s probably doing drugs”—Scotty (dead serious)

*everyone throws themselves against the fence*
“MR. FAUSSSTT!”

“Why are we here?”—Diana
“It’s where you belong”—Fausty

“Wait... why is the faculty moving towards safety?”—Diana

“BACK BACK!”—Mr. L *hitting the fence with a rolled up paper*

“I say we light our backpacks on fire and dance around them”—Laura
“And chant”—Katie

“They taunt us with busses”

“I could go for a good school shooting myself... mix things up a bit”—Helen
“That’s terrible”—Kate
“I don’t want to shoot anyone... I just think it’d be really entertaining”—Helen
“There’s no evidence if the list is in my head”—Helen

“YAY! Hawk! Kill the pigeons!”—Helen

“Diana, you must be having a field day with these quotes”—Kate

*end of bomb threat of fun*

“instead of avagadro’s number, I used Gorman’s number.... 8”—Gorman

“Joe, do you still put your junk in Mr. Faust’s drawers?”—Mike
“No, the cleaning lady takes it out”—Joe
“What? The cleaning lady took your junk out of Mr. Faust’s drawers?”—Mike
“The cleaning lady opened her cabinet and put your junk in?”—Frank

“And you still owe me $1.39”—Frank
“For what?”—Kurt
“apple juice”—Frank

“How do you let these people write all over your stuff?”—Helen
“I’m big, but I’m not tough”—Kurt

“Mr. Faust only watches girl sports”--Mike
“Yeah, because he’s a big girl”—Frank
“oooo, frank just called you a big girl”—Joe
“Wait until the day, if the world is unlucky enough, that you reproduce and you have to go to whatever it is’ games”—Fausty
“I’ll look forward to it... I’ll make sure they’re in your class”—Frank

“up your nose with a rubber hose, Mr. Faust”—Mike

“Do they celebrate Easter in England”—Joe

*chants ‘ignorant!’* --Joe

“Mr. Faust... don’t you like us?”—Helen
“Mr. Faust, I threw myself at a fence for you”—Diana

“it’s a holiday about a bunny”—Joe
“Joe, even I know what Easter is about”—Dan

“Are we watching a movie?”—Kurt
“no”—Fausty
“... are YOU watching a movie?”—Kurt

“if nexy year’s class acts like 9th graders, I’ll be happy... look at you ... *looks at frank* you have to walk everywhere holding on to your books”—Fausty

“I’m going to make fun of Kurt’s hair”—Pascoe
“Don’t make fun of Kurt’s hair, make fun of his mole”—Helen
“Don’t’ make fun of Kurt’s mold, make fun of his mole hair”—Alan

“My big fat polish wedding... I wonder if it has to be heterosexual”—Helen
“send in our pictures”—Diana

“Hey Diana, put this in the quote book: ‘GEORGE IS THE MAN’”—Kurt

“What’s that smell?”—Diana
“They had a popcorn lab”—Joe
“It’s the roof”—Diana
“no, they—“—Joe
“the roof”—Diana
“they had a pop—“—Joe
“the roof”—Diana
“a popcorn—“—Joe
“the roof is on fire”—Diana

“Who will do the last problem?...... *looks around*...... GEORGE”—Ms. Wills
“aww DAMMIT”—George (very loud)

“Joe... wrong”—Ms. Wills
“Joe, we’ll talk you through this”—Kurt
“Go kurt, go!”

“Kurt got beat up by raph” —Mike
“Did you just say kurt got raped?”—Laura
“How is that possible to rape kurt?”—Katie
“no seriously”—Katie

“Mr. Faust, there’s stuff on your pants... no seriously”—Frank
“I don’t want to wipe it off”—Mike
“Do you need psychiatric counseling?”—Fausty
“I can’t touch Mr. Faust’s drawers”

“We’re going to book our diplomas”—Mike
“You got diplomaed”

*alan runs into the room duirng the middle of class*
“Raph has a gun”—Alan

“Don’t put that into the book, that was horrible... he could have said something much better”—Kurt
“Like ‘FIRE’, or ‘FIGHT’!”—Frank
“or ‘get your pants out of my drawers’”—Mike
“You know what’s great? Yelling ‘fight’ in a large crowd and watching the teachers all look around”—Mike

“Kurt, your mole is blocking my view”—Helen
“Well... I can’t see past your purple hair”—Kurt
“Kurt, you’re in front of her”—Diana
“...and?”—Kurt